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I'm a worrier. I lay in my bed at night thinking of all the horrible things that could go wrong in my life.
What if I lose my job?
What if something happened to my family?
What if the puppies go missing? (yes. I do worry about this)
What if Mr. Darcy and I can't have kids?
What if there's something wrong with our kids?
What if I get sick?
What if Mr. Darcy's lung collapsed again?
How are we going to pay for a wedding?
What if someone breaks into my house?
What if Mr. Darcy is denied citizienship?
What if something bad happens?
The list will go on and on, spiraling even more out of control as the hours pass. As soon as it's morning, and the light is shining, I'm fine. I can put aside my fears, face my day, be confident in God that He is in control of my future. But when night comes, it's a totally different story.
And it's not every single night. I could go weeks with out doing this to myself, but then something will trigger it and I'll lay there for hours till finally I have to get up and fix myself something to drink and read something till my eyes are too heavy to stay open and then I'll slip into exhaustion.
The other day I was reading my bible, just kind of skimming around, and I came across this verse that everyone and their dog knows.
At some point or another I had written in the margins "There is no time for fear."
How had I forgotten this? How had I let my fears prey on my mind so much?
There is a time for everything. Literally. Everything.
But not fear. Never fear.
Fear is destructive and crippling and paralyzing. Fear will keep you from discovering dreams, reaching goals, moving forward. Fear is stifling.
But it doesn't have to be that way. I don't HAVE to be scared of my future. I don't have to feel sick to my stomach when I go to bed, wondering if tonight I'll be able to just sleep or if tonight will be another sleepless night.
God is constantly protecting, watching, guiding my steps. Yes bad things are going to happen. I'm going to have worries and fears and bad days. But if I truly and honestly believe that God is in control then I can't go through life, scared of what's going to happen around the next corner.
It's a new day. A new step. A new courage.
So true lady! I worry about stupid things all the time, God is in control! And congrats on your engagement :)
ReplyDeleteI needed this with all the anxiety in my life lately.
ReplyDeleteP.S. I totally go through the list of "what if?" situations every night. I have to take Ambien so my brain will shut off enough for me to be able to sleep! And one of my biggest worries is something happening to my dogs.. You're not alone. haha.
AMEN, Sister!! :) I love this post! And you know, I do the same thing. A favorite verse of mine when this happens to me is when Jesus said "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?". Thanks for sharing your heart, my friend. You are beautiful.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry, everything happens for a reason and I believe we are just along for the ride. It will all work out, do don't waste any time worrying!
ReplyDeleteXO,
Erin
http://erinscurrentlycoveting.blogspot.com/
Oh man, I'm always worried I'm going to get sick or my mother will die or I wont have money or wonder if I'll ever have a "real life". It's so crazy that fear and anxiety can control you so much. But the best thing I've ever heard in my life was, "Feelings aren't facts"! And that's so very true!
ReplyDeleteWhat a lovely motivating post! I hope you got over your bad thoughts! They happen to me often too but bright sunny days cheer me up! I recently read the book the secret and it did help me to become more positive! Try reading it!
ReplyDeletexx
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This was very inspirational, and just what I needed to read this morning. Thank you! :)
ReplyDeleteI LOVE that! I think we forget God is really in control of where our life goes. Isn't it amazing how the dark brings out these different emotions - the same thing happens to me.
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