Confessions of a Beauty School Graduate

I think "Drop out" would sound better for the title of this post. No one has ever really been interested in "Beauty School Graduates" its only drop outs (w/ pink hair listening to Frankie Valli trying to convince them to "go back to highschoooool). Unfortunately I'm not a drop out, so I'll stick with "graduate".

Now that I am officially done w/ hair school ( Cue Hallelujah Chorus) I wanted to share some of my favorite stories. They will make you laugh. They will make you cry. They will make you say, "Rather her than me" but you will enjoy, that I promise. So with out further ado....

A Brief Telling of my Top Favorite Stories from Beauty School

(Not in any specific order b/c there's no way I could pick my absolute favorite)

• "O ya I ride horses. I ride Clydesdale horses bareback."
• Doing a pedicure on the man w/ toenails so long they curled over his toes. I'm pretty sure one of those things went flying into my hair.
• The woman who kept asking me what I was doing for Christmas, and each time I answered, no matter what I said, she said, " Well that's good honey. Just don't forget the true meaning of Christmas. It's Jesus ya know". She asked me this question about 15 times. I eventually started answering differently just to see what would happen. Same answer every time.
• The woman who straight up KNOCKED OUT asleep on me while I was doing a perm, and then got offended when I asked if she was enjoying her nap. "I do NOT TAKE NAPS!"
• The woman (who SHALL remain nameless) who wore gold sparkly tennis shoes, and told us how her daughter bought them for her, and they were a bit too flashy in her opinion. Never the less, she wore them every. single. time. And told us they were too flashy every. single. time.
• Gayle. love her sweet old heart, she took her hearing aid out when you washed her hair, so she had no freaking clue what you were saying but she'd still try to talk to you. She'd get real close to your ear and say, " I'M NOT TALKING TOO LOUD AM I?!?!"
• The woman on my very last day who decided to tell me in EXTREMELY GREAT DETAIL about the time she helped birth a child.
• The woman who was so freaking tiny you had to stack a cushion and a phone book under her so she could reach the shampoo bowl. She wanted me to file her nails into cat claws and I guess I just suck at cat claws, so she told one of the other students that "that girl is real cute but bless her heart she's slow as molasses!"
• Pat. Dear old Pat is the dirtiest old woman I have ever encountered, and probably will ever encounter. I never knew a mouth that old could be that raunchy. I'm not even going to sully your eyes with a quote. I would blush just from typing it. Lets just say she would ask you questions a gynecologist would probably be embarrassed to ask you. And would ask in the most vulgar language possible.
• The day I read Heather a paragraph from one of the books the ladies would read while we were doing their hair. It was then I realized there was a dirty book library right next to me, and 90 yr old women were reading about naked cowboys while under the dryer.
• The woman who asked me my sign, and then proceeded to convince me to let her hook me up with her son, who she had just got done telling about how he hit her and was a horrible son and never talked to her unless it was for money. Prince Charming I'm sure.
• The day I was talking too much and accidentally shaved a hole into the side of this kids hair cut. I mean down to the skin almost. So I just flirted with him (he was a sophomore in HS) and washed his hair for about 15 minutes till it was time for me to go. Whoopsies!

And there you have it. Life in a Beauty school is extremely exciting, I can tell you that much. I think I shall write a book.

Thanks guys! Tell your friends!

LOVE

Kaleigh